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"The Tome of Magical Delights" (Merlin/Arthur, soft R)

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Aug. 19th, 2010 | 12:37 am
mood: naughty<3

Fandom: BBC Merlin
Pairing: Merlin/sexy dreams of Arthur
Rating: soft R
Beta: symetric; Britpicked by vivitchi
Word count: 730~ words
Notes: Written for summerpornathon's kindness challenge; posted anonymously at kinkme_merlin here to (sort of) fulfill the first half of this prompt: Arthur/Merlin, magic book. Merlin finds a sort of magic book that turns him on and makes him come in the best kind of ways whenever he fondles it.
Disclaimer: This permutation of Merlin, Arthur, Gaius, Geoffrey, etc. are created and owned by BBC. No money is being made, and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.



Merlin was bored. Arthur was away on some diplomatic visit*, and he would not be back for at least another fortnight. When the third Arthur-less day rolled around, Gaius had refused to tolerate Merlin's moping any longer. So here he was, skulking behind the dusty tomes in the library.

Scanning the spines before him, he noticed that one of them was defaced. He traced the carved letters with his finger.

"The Tome of...Masterful Delights? Musical Delights?" The letters sparked suddenly, and Merlin yelped.

Geoffrey gave him a disdainful look.

"I thought I saw a spider! My eyes! They were playing tricks on me!" He gave the librarian a wide, innocent smile. Judging from Geoffrey's wince, he had probably overshot "innocent" to "village idiot."

He waited until Geoffrey returned to his court records before sneaking with the book into a nook.

Try as he might, he couldn't feel any malevolent aura. Maybe that spark earlier was some freak scientific phenomenon**?

Turning to the first page, Merlin noticed spidery handwriting on the margins.

"Women are tender creatures, therefore they prefer tender beginnings."

Merlin suspected that this book was less a guide to musical instruments and more a guide to... lady parts. And since Merlin's sum of experience with women was two kisses (Gwen didn't count), he turned to the next page with excited curiosity.

The book gave ambiguously worded advice on how to inflame the senses; it included helpful illustrations of bare-chested women covered by strategic flora. Merlin squinted at the single orchid blossom clasped in front of a brunette's "cavernly delights."

The blossom fluttered.

Merlin's eyes grew wide. He quickly turned to check if Geoffrey was watching, but the librarian was engrossed in his own work.

Bending back to the page, Merlin found the woman, sans orchid, leering at him.

He slammed the book shut.

Muttering a spell of concealment, he proceeded to smuggle the book out of the library.

*****

Later that evening, after he was done with his chores for Gaius, Merlin returned to his room with anticipation.

He sat on his bed and took the book from under his pillow***. As his fingers caressed the binding, he felt a sense of apprehensive excitement.

This time, he found not a naked woman, but a picture of a man: a golden-haired young man wearing a nearly transparent red tunic. The man had broad shoulders and strong, capable-looking arms.

Merlin reminded himself not to squint.

Was it just his imagination, or did the man's features begin to resemble Arthur's?

Blushing, he closed the book before the Arthur lookalike could take off his tunic.

That night, Merlin dreamt of the golden-haired young man.

A skilled tongue mapped out the contours of his body and, instead of feeling gross, Merlin moaned his enjoyment. When the man lifted his head from Merlin's inner thigh, Merlin blindly reached up to grab him. "More, Arthur, please."

Arthur chuckled. Calloused hands grabbed his arse and lifted him. "Since you beg so prettily."

Merlin wanted to protest that he wasn't begging, he was just being polite, but Arthur's tongue was already slipping into his mouth, muffling his words.

The kissing soon turned urgent and, with breathless laughter, Merlin divested Arthur of his soft red tunic. He placed open-mouthed kisses along Arthur’s jaw, and tasted the salt from his neck.

"Arthur, Arthur—"

"Yes, right there."

*****

In the morning, Merlin woke up sticky and enlightened.

He didn't even know**** that two men could do that. He hadn't understood before how sex between two men could be pleasurable. However, his dream self had most definitely enjoyed the full experience. Over and over again.

With Arthur away, Merlin had some time to himself. Later this afternoon, he could bring the book to Arthur's chamber for a brief nap...



* When Merlin whined asking Arthur to bring him along, Arthur told him that Uther didn't want "that mentally deficient servant of yours" around to sabotage the goodwill meeting.

** Like how half the castle became invisible during last month's thunderstorm. Gaius had drawn an official astronomy chart to explain the scientific phenomenon to Uther.

*** The space under his bed was already occupied by one magic book, after all. With his luck, the books' magic would interact and animate the missing-one-orchid-blossom brunette.

**** He'd always thought that Will was having him on. It sounded too dirty to not be one of Will's arsenal of jokes.


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Comments {19}

A Purveyor of Fine Cupcakes

(no subject)

from: chrisastopholis
date: Aug. 19th, 2010 09:18 pm (UTC)
Link

This was awesome! The footnotes really added a fun extra layer. I was giggling all the way through this.
Also, "sticky and enlightened" is now my new favorite mode of being.

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lilian_cho

(no subject)

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 20th, 2010 05:52 pm (UTC)
Link

Hee =D I wouldn't mind being sticky and enlightened too.

You'd probably like this one too, since it's also humor and has footnotes =)

Thanks for popping the post's comment cherry commenting!

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timetraveller90

(no subject)

from: timetraveller90
date: Aug. 20th, 2010 07:17 am (UTC)
Link

This was absolutely brillant !
Haha I can just imagine Geoffrey looking suspicious, I'll never be able to watch scenes in the library the same now

"**** He'd always thought that Will was having him on. It sounded too dirty to not be one of Will's arsenal of jokes."

Oh yeah I can easily imagine Merlin's horrified expression while Will is telling him all about


of and of course, it was really hot !
Great way to start the day

Now I wonder if Merlin will try to fulfil the fantasies when Arthur is back ^^

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lilian_cho

Will & Merlin

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 20th, 2010 05:59 pm (UTC)
Link

Thanks for commenting =D

I'll never be able to watch scenes in the library the same now

X-D Mission accomplished!


Oh yeah I can easily imagine Merlin's horrified expression while Will is telling him all about

Will: "...and then one guy stick it up the other guy's bum."

Merlin: O_O *reflexively covers bum* "That doesn't sound very hygienic, does it?"

Will: *evil grin* "Pee comes out of your prick, Merlin. You don't think that's unhygienic, do you?"

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killer_empath

Re: Will & Merlin

from: killer_empath
date: Aug. 26th, 2010 01:30 am (UTC)
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*random person*

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love your Merlin so much.

(btw, how do you do the little heart thingy? I thought it was &hearts but apparently not)

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lilian_cho

Re: Will & Merlin

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 26th, 2010 02:59 am (UTC)
Link

*g* Thank you, I aim to please.

You're missing a semi-colon: & hearts ; --> ♥

P.S. Love your username

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killer_empath

Re: Will & Merlin

from: killer_empath
date: Aug. 26th, 2010 11:39 am (UTC)
Link

♥ ♥ ♥

*blush*

thank you......it was originally supposed to be an RP account of one of my random "HEROES (NBC)" OCs, but I like using it :p

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lilian_cho

Re: Will & Merlin

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 28th, 2010 12:51 am (UTC)
Link

*g* It sure is an interesting combination of superpower & profession.

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(Deleted comment)

lilian_cho

*loves back*

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 20th, 2010 06:27 pm (UTC)
Link

Thanks again for everything =D
Now that you've given it one last lookover, I can x-post it at DW & AO3 *g*

X-D Merlin can be such a whiny teenager in the series, which is why I put his mental age at 15. And then nonchalantly bump his age up several years when it comes to pr0n >=D

Re: footnotes, I'm so tempted to wave my arms around going SEE WUT I DID THAR but I'd just admit that I was too subtle/noone noticed/it wasn't as funny as I sekkritly thought.

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(Deleted comment)

lilian_cho

Footnote, explained.

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 22nd, 2010 05:29 pm (UTC)
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Haha true.

Not exactly of great importance, but here.

Anyone stalking the comment page who wants to know, just ask me and I'll tell you~. Preferably after you guess which footnote and what the significance is ;-)

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(Deleted comment)

lilian_cho

Re: Footnote, explained.

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 23rd, 2010 04:46 pm (UTC)
Link

=DDD Yay!

And by v. subtle you mean too subtle, right? X-D

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HermitKnut

(no subject)

from: hermitknut
date: Aug. 20th, 2010 11:31 am (UTC)
Link

*sniggers* Ha, that's brilliant :D Of course Merlin had to sneak it out of the library :D
HK

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lilian_cho

(no subject)

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 20th, 2010 06:07 pm (UTC)
Link

Thanks for commenting! =D

Geoffrey gets twitchy when the big-eared, wide-eyed peasant gets too close to his babies. He doesn't even let the crown prince take out books from the library!

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Noor

Heheh

from: de_tensai
date: Aug. 20th, 2010 01:19 pm (UTC)
Link

Every growing boy has a stash of nudie mag hidden somewhere. Only Merlin has it with moving illustration XD

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lilian_cho

Re: Heheh

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 20th, 2010 06:09 pm (UTC)
Link

Thanks for commenting! =D

*g* It's like howstuffworks.com before the Internet >=D

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giecast

(no subject)

from: giecast
date: Aug. 21st, 2010 03:58 am (UTC)
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Ahaha awesome! The footnotes are brilliant esp the 3rd one. Now where's the sequel where Arthur catches Merlin with the book on his bed? *gazes at you with puppy-dog eyes*

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lilian_cho

(no subject)

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 21st, 2010 08:13 am (UTC)
Link

Thanks for commenting, glad you like it =D

The thought of Arthur catching Merlin honestly didn't occur to me when I wrote this, but a few people have mentioned it. I'll see what I can do! (I write slow, though).

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laurapetri

(no subject)

from: laurapetri
date: Aug. 24th, 2010 06:55 pm (UTC)
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LOL

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lilian_cho

(no subject)

from: lilian_cho
date: Aug. 24th, 2010 07:06 pm (UTC)
Link

*g* Thank you.

Also: Eeeee your icon! *dies at Colin + scarf*

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