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WANTED: Royal Personal Attendant

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Mar. 28th, 2009 | 01:02 pm
mood: mischievoussword-fighting lessons!

(Or, if you prefer the girly French version, valet de chambre)

RESPONSIBILITIES:
◆ Undress, bathe and shave the crown prince.
No way am I trusting you with sharp objects Do you even have facial hair, Merlin? I don't understand why your face is so clean-shaven and so smooth that I want to lick it all over.
◆ Maintain the royal wardrobe (please give the laundry to the washerwomen since you are pants at it anyway.)
Keep up with current fashions Oh, never mind. Just make sure you're appropriately dressed for formal events.
◆ Ensure that the crown prince's bed chambers are warm, comfortable, and vermin free.
(This cannot be stressed enough. And you shall not, under any circumstances, try to pass it off as pork.)
◆ Deliver personal messages for the crown prince.
◆ Keep up with the servant gossips so that I can play pranks on Morgana to determine threats to the royal person.
◆ Warn the crown prince of imminent poisoning. (IMPORTANT: DO NOT drink the poison yourself!)
Perform sexual services Whatever else I require you to do, according to my whims.

BENEFITS:
◆ The privilege of watching the crown prince's manly fighting technique up close and personal.
◆ A princely shoulder to cry on because face it, Merlin, you're a big girl.
◆ The authority to boss around other servants for the crown prince's service. (Except for my father's manservant royal personal attendant. And the kitchen staff. Nobody messes with the kitchen staff.)
◆ Weekly sword-fighting lessons from the finest knight in Camelot aka the crown prince.
◆ Yearly Yule present from the crown prince.
◆ Yearly week-long vacation to your home village, with a basket of fresh fruits for your mother. (Does she like cheese?)
◆ The opportunity to request one song from visiting bards, preferably praising my manly prowess.
Oral gratification Other benefits, when I'm feeling magnanimous.



The first version of this was submitted for armer_gayms' Now I'm Rehiring You challenge.
X-posted @ IJ.

Link | Ring a bell |

Comments {13}

benebu

(no subject)

from: benebu
date: Mar. 28th, 2009 09:36 pm (UTC)
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lilian_cho, I ♥ you.

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lilian_cho

(no subject)

from: lilian_cho
date: Mar. 28th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
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I <3 you too.

I hope it'll be shown soon in France, so you can point and laugh and be amused =D

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benebu

(no subject)

from: benebu
date: Mar. 30th, 2009 11:00 am (UTC)
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My money's on Belgian TV, much more reactive on newer shows. *crosses fingers* I'm so fond of this show already, certainly I deserve to see it?

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lilian_cho

(no subject)

from: lilian_cho
date: Mar. 30th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
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And the show's shot in France! Surely that's double points for you! *g*

How far away is the castle from where you live? *is curious*

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benebu

(no subject)

from: benebu
date: Apr. 1st, 2009 03:39 pm (UTC)
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*looks it up*

Oh! I visited this castle some years ago. (Not that I remember much about it - all my memories of castle-visiting seem to blend together.) It's less than 200 kilometres from were I live (less than 2 hours by road, 107.5 miles if I managed the conversion). Are you jealous now?

Actually, it being shot in France would make me wary of it - French TV shows are... not to my tastes, shall I say. With a few exceptions, luckily.

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lilian_cho

Pierrefond

from: lilian_cho
date: Apr. 1st, 2009 10:11 pm (UTC)
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Well if I live 2 hours away I would stalk the actors visit so I can get up close and personal with my fic setting =D
And take a gazillion pictures for reference and steal random rocks and clumps of grass.

Never seen any French TV. How is it bad, exactly?


Oh, and can you post the next board game pls? I'm getting bored of the current one ^^;;

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benebu

Re: Pierrefond

from: benebu
date: Apr. 2nd, 2009 11:58 am (UTC)
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Maybe I'll feel this way when I have seen the show. I'm not a stalker at heart, though. (Especially since it means leaving my beloved computer.)

I'll take care of the next board, but it may take a day or two - I have nothing ready.

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lilian_cho

Re: Pierrefond

from: lilian_cho
date: Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
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I was going to say "me too," but then I never was into any TV fandom like I am into Merlin. Only time and opportunity to stalk will tell =D

Thanks =)

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E McGee

(no subject)

from: melusinahp
date: Mar. 29th, 2009 12:24 pm (UTC)
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LMAO! I love this one best: ◆ Warn the crown prince of imminent poisoning. (IMPORTANT: DO NOT drink the poison yourself!)

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lilian_cho

(no subject)

from: lilian_cho
date: Mar. 29th, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC)
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Merlin seems to think that a manservant doubles as a poison tester.

Glad to amuse! =D

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Tormenta

(no subject)

from: oconel
date: Mar. 29th, 2009 04:18 pm (UTC)
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Do you think I have any chance? Because I have the feeling the position is already for Merlin...

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lilian_cho

(no subject)

from: lilian_cho
date: Mar. 29th, 2009 07:32 pm (UTC)
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You know, minus the sword-fighting lessons, I would totally apply for this job =D

Maybe Merlin would like an assistant or two? *g*


Edited to add invisible commas.

Edited at 2009-03-29 07:33 pm (UTC)

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Tormenta

(no subject)

from: oconel
date: Mar. 29th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
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Oh! I wouldn't mind that either! I'd totally give Merlin a hand. *g*

Edited to add invisible commas.
Heheheh ;)

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